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Is it important for you to learn how to love yourself again? Does acceptance of self matter? 

What does it mean to love yourself?

Loving yourself means that you accept who you are, without conditions and exceptions, and without change. You accept who you are unconditionally, despite seeing things in you that you consider ugly or flaws.

It means embracing every part of who you are: your gifts, strengths, weaknesses, talents, mistakes, way of thinking, and even your physical appearance. 

Loving yourself means letting go of the things you wish you could change about yourself and accepting the unique individual that you are. It is forgiving yourself and forgiving things that you have done or said in the past that you may not be proud of. 

You must start accepting the person that God created you to be and not trying to be someone else. Also, you can no longer hide pieces of yourself to appease others.

To love yourself again you need to stop comparing yourself to others and start operating in the fullness of who you truly are.

Why should you love yourself again?

Those who have a higher level of self-acceptance are often happier because they have a healthier view of who they are. They look at things through a positive lens instead of a negative one, regardless of the situation.

They see themselves as the way that God created them to be, and not how the world sees them. The ways of God are not the ways of the world (Isaiah 55:8-9), so it is important to view things from a Godly perspective.

If you look at the different people in the Bible that God used, none of them were perfect, but each had a purpose. Stop looking at the things that you consider weaknesses in your life and see yourself the way God sees you.

Gideon called himself the least of the weakest tribe, but God called him a “mighty man of valor” (Judges 6). God saw something in Gideon that Gideon didn’t see in himself.

When you learn how to love yourself again you are honoring God for the way He created you. God made you in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:26) and created you for a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11).

When we don’t recognize that it is almost like spitting in His face. It is telling God that He didn’t do a good job of creating you.

Dr. Myles Munroe stated that, “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”. If you don’t know your purpose, you will find yourself going from job to job and never experiencing true satisfaction. 

If you don’t learn how to love yourself again, you won’t be able to operate at your highest level. Loving all of yourself and embracing who you authentically are leads you down the path of fulfilling the purpose you were created for.

black notebook to use on your journey as you learn how to love yourself again

How to love yourself again

You begin to love yourself again when you embrace who you are unconditionally. You stop comparing yourself to others and accept yourself as you are, without change. 

Read for More: The 20 Best Strategies For How To Love Yourself

I have included some different strategies for how to love yourself again. I have used these strategies on my journey. 

  • Grow your relationship with God: This is the first and most important thing that you need to do when you are on your journey to learn how to love yourself again.

    Because God created you, He is the Source you need to go to first. He has the instruction manual for your life. You must spend time in prayer and in His Word to gain a true understanding of who you are.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others: Each one of us was created uniquely. It is time to stop comparing yourself to others or wishing you had what they had.

    It is time to embrace who you are and the gifts and strength in yourself. You are not meant to be anybody else but you.
  • Recognize your strengths: Sit down with your favorite journal and writing utensil to make a list of all of the strengths in your life. What are the things that you are naturally good at?

    Where do you excel without effort? You have your own set of strengths according to the purpose you are created for.
flowers and a journal that says love beyond words - a tool for how to love yourself again
  • Acknowledge your flaws and mistakes: We all have things that we consider to be flaws and we all make mistakes. That does not disqualify us from a joyful life.

    They do not disqualify us from our purpose. Oftentimes those things we consider mistakes help us reach those to who we are called. 
  • See the positive in things: Search for the positive in every situation. Look at everything as an opportunity for learning and growth.

    Even though we have all had negative experiences, was there anything that experience taught you?
  • Be kind to yourself: You have gone through a lot of things in your life and you need to start being kind to yourself. You are worthy of being treated with mercy and compassion. 
  • Use Affirmations: Be intentional about affirming who you are and all of the great things about you. Speaking these affirmations out loud is more effective than just saying them in your mind.

    Make affirmations a part of your daily routine and make sure you are intentional about accepting the words you are speaking.
  • Change your mindset: Let go of that “stinking thinking”. Do the work to change your mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. You will be amazed at what you accomplished once you start making the changes. 
  • Evaluate your relationships: Are you surrounded by healthy relationships or toxic relationships? If you are surrounded by toxic people you may need to consider who you stay in relationship with.

    Toxic people should no longer be allowed in your inner circle. You are not obligated to give anyone access to your life that doesn’t bring you peace.
  • Practice self-gratitude: Take time to practice self-gratitude; acknowledge the things that you are grateful for towards yourself. Make this a daily habit of acknowledging the great things about yourself.
  • Acknowledge your feelings: Acknowledge how you feel, but don’t let your feelings define who you are. Your feelings are valid, but they also don’t tell the whole truth. 
  • List your accomplishments: What goals have you reached and what obstacles have you overcome? Take time to make a list of all of the great things that you have accomplished.

    Keep this in front of you for those moments you are struggling to see the positive things about yourself. Look at everything you have walked through and celebrate that you are an overcomer! 
  • Forgive yourself: Forgive yourself for every negative thing you have thought or said about yourself. God forgives us for our sins, and we need to forgive ourselves for any negative thing we have done to ourselves.

Remember that at the end of the day you have the choice to do something. You can choose to accept yourself or choose not to. The decision is up to you. 

Is there anything that you are allowing to hold you back from truly loving yourself again?


If you have any questions or would like additional information, please leave a comment below.

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  1. I love how you highlighted the importance of not comparing ourselves to others. I truly believe that comparison steals our joy and contentment. We can live such fuller lives if we stop looking at what everyone else is doing and where they are on their journeys.

    1. Yes, I struggled with comparison since I was a little girl and it has made such a difference once I stopped (or became aware of what I was doing).

  2. I love this quote “Grow your relationship with God: This is the first and most important thing that you need to do when you are on your journey to learn how to love yourself again”. I have found that it all comes back to this. When my identity is in worldly things, I never measure up. When I know that even with my flaws, I am loved by the one who created me exactly how I was meant to be, the world looks completely different. Not only do I love myself, but I can also love others better too! Thank you for this post.

    1. You’re welcome! I’ve finally been able to identify the times I’m really struggling with myself are when I’m looking to the world and not to God.

  3. I think it’s sometimes hard to understand that we even CAN love ourselves exactly as we are, right now, without changing anything about ourselves. We’re so constantly encouraged to improve everything that we forget that perfection isn’t a prerequisite for love. We’ll never be perfect, so we might as well love ourselves now.

  4. Great tips! I like your point about seeing the good, even in negative experiences. It’s from these that we learn and grow into better, stronger and wiser people!

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