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We’ve all done it at some point in our life. We have compared ourselves to others and wished we had what they had. Comparison is when we examine two or more objects in order to note similarities and differences (Dictionary.com). Continue reading to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others.
What is the Reason I Compare Myself With Others?
The reason many of us compare ourselves to others is that we don’t recognize our own greatness. We have been trained by life to look outward to others instead of looking inward at ourselves.
Many consider you to be a selfish person if you “only think of yourself”. The problem with this is that we become so focused on what other people have or do, that we don’t acknowledge the things about us that make us unique.
We are so inundated with pictures and videos on social media that display other people’s highlights but they don’t tell a complete story about that person. Most people don’t put their fears, imperfections, and weaknesses on display so we look at them thinking they have a perfect life. We don’t get to see what is happening behind closed doors.
How Does Comparing Yourself Affect Your Life?
One of my favorite quotes about comparison is, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” by Theodore Roosevelt. The reason I like this quote so much is that it is a reminder that comparing ourselves to others is not healthy and it could take away the satisfaction of our own lives.
When we spend time comparing ourselves to others it can lead to low self-esteem and unhappiness with our own lives. We can become frustrated with what other people have, instead of embracing everything that God has given us and put in us.
We can start thinking that we are not good enough and begin having the “if only” conversations in our minds. It causes us to live in a state of dreaming about other people’s lives instead of living our own lives.
We may even miss out on our purpose in life because we are so busy looking at the lives of others. It causes us to not see the things right in front of us that God has for us because we are desiring the things that God has for others.
The biggest way that comparison affects your life is that you are telling God that the way He created you was not good enough. You are telling God that He made a mistake with you.
We are made in the image and likeness of God, so you are just like Him. So you comparing yourself to others is disrespectful to who God is.
10 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
So how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Here are 10 practical tips.
Focus on who God created YOU to be
This is the most important way for you to stop comparing yourself to others. God created you “fearfully and wonderfully” (Psalm 139:14) so you are perfect the way He created you to be.
Write down a few things about yourself, your strengths, gifts, personality trait, etc. Thank God for all of these parts of you that He put in you.
Practice self-gratitude
Take the time to be intentional about being grateful for everything God has put in you. Use a journal and turn every negative thought about yourself into a statement of thankfulness and gratitude. Make this a daily habit.
Embrace where you are
Sometimes we get so caught up with where other people are in life that we become dissatisfied with where we are. Embrace where you are in life and know that you are on time.
There is a time and season for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) and God makes everything beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). His timing is perfect for us, as an individual, not the timing according to what the world says is right.
Stop comparing your life to everyone else’s highlight reel
Focus on your own life and stop comparing yourself to others. When you see other people, whether it be in person or on social media, know that you are only getting a glimpse of who they are. You are only seeing the highlights they post and a view of what is happening on the outside.
They don’t show you what is happening on the inside or behind closed doors. You don’t know what is happening in someone else’s life and the fact they may be dealing with inner turmoil. They may even be comparing themselves to others or even to you.
Celebrate other people
Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, celebrate them. Celebrate who they are as an individual, knowing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made as well. This helps to eliminate comparison and jealousy.
Take a break from social media
Social media (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc.) is a breeding ground for comparison. Most people only post their highlights and this could cause seeds of dissatisfaction with your own life.
Remember that you are not seeing the full picture, just their “best of’s”, which are often filtered. Replace the time that you spend scrolling on social media with a time of self-admiration, self-love, and self-care.
Be your own cheerleader
It is often said that the grass is always greener on the other side, but the grass is actually greener where it is watered. Celebrate everything about you; your individual traits and accomplishments, and see what it starts doing to your thoughts.
Change your inner dialogue
It is easy to become overwhelmed by negative thoughts. That is why the word of God reminds us to renew our minds daily (Romans 12:2). Take any negative thought captive and replace it with a positive statement.
Sometimes you need to renew your mind every day, every hour, every minute, and sometimes every second. The more frequently you replace your negative thinking with positive thinking, the easier it becomes.
Be ok with not being perfect
It is okay to not be perfect, it means that you are a normal human being. Nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deals with things they don’t like about themselves.
Stop beating yourself up for things you don’t like about yourself and forgive yourself for the times you have beat yourself up.
Recognize your triggers for comparison
Are there certain places, people, or things that trigger your thoughts of comparison? Be mindful of these and be proactive if that is something you know you will come face-to-face with.
Have a plan in place before you are in the situation. This will give you a strategy to deal with feelings of comparison.
Scriptures to Stop Comparing Yourself
The Word of God is filled with scriptures on how to stop comparing yourself. Grab your favorite Bible and see what God has to say.
Galatians 6:4-5 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.
Proverbs 14:30 A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.
Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Galatians 1:10 Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.
Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Exodus 20:17 “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.”
Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Romans 12:4-5 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
If you need professional support for working through this process, you might consider online therapy.
ANY QUESTIONS?
If you have any questions or would like additional information, please leave a comment below.
Great and helpful tips to stop comparing ourselves to others. I really agree with social media – it’s certainly triggered me in the past to feeling “less than” everyone else. I appreciate your thoughtful bible verses as well. Great post!
Thank you! Social media was definitely a trigger for me in the past.
This article is beautifully written and carrie’s such an important message! I became much happier when I accepted the fact that I’m not perfect. It took away the pressure to be perfect.
Thank you and love it!
Excellent post with practical strategies to help you stop the comparison trap. Thanks for including the Scripture verses, it adds power to the message.
Thank you! I love the Word of God and how powerful it is!