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What does it mean to value yourself? In this article, I want to talk about why you should value yourself and how to value yourself.
What Does Value Mean?
According to the Oxford Dictionary, value means the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. Before we go any further, take a couple of minutes to reflect on this definition regarding how you view yourself.
Do you see yourself as someone deserving of good things, that you are important, that you are worth it, that you are useful? This can be a hard pill to swallow if we answer no to those questions. I have been there, honestly, for most of my life, I didn’t value myself.
Hope is not lost and even if you answered no and realized you don’t fully value yourself yet if you do the work you will find that you will see the value in who you are.
Why Should You Value Yourself?
When you value yourself it means that you believe that you are worthy of love, respect, success, and well-being. It means that you have a level of self-respect that allows you to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships and situations.
When you value yourself you gain the power to say no to things that don’t add value to your own life. It will give you the strength to set up boundaries when and where they are needed.
When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you will find that you are surrounded by healthy people. Valuing yourself gives you the boldness you need to remove toxic people from your life. It may also encourage those around you to make the changes they need toward a healthier life emotionally, mentally, and physically.
You are telling others that you are worth being loved and respected and that you won’t settle for less. You are saying, “I value ME”, and that tells others that they must value you as well if they want to be a part of your life.
When you value yourself you start taking better care of yourself spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. You realize that your needs matter too, and there is nothing shameful or selfish about taking care of yourself.
“What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.Luke 12:6-7
When you value yourself you are also telling God that you accept yourself the way that He created you to be. You accept your strengths and your gifts and your way of thinking and doing things.
Keep in mind that when you value your self it does not mean that you don’t value other people. It means that you not only value yourself but you see the value and others. When you see yourself right you can more clearly see others in the right light.
Valuing yourself means that you feel good about yourself regardless of what other people may say or think about you. You don’t need validation from anybody else.
You don’t have to look to others for love and acceptance, you get it from yourself. You don’t have to look for approval from others because you already approve of yourself. Your opinion of yourself matters more than what other people think about you.
How To Value Yourself?
When you are ready to learn how to value yourself there are some different steps you can take. I will share a few strategies below for learning and taking action on how to value yourself.
The first thing is that you have to know who you are and you have to understand all the facets of what makes you all that you are. That means learning first and foremost what God says about you. Then you need to learn what your gifts, strengths, personality, and character traits are.
It is also important to know what your weaknesses are and to stop feeling sorry about having weaknesses. We are not created to be strong in every single area. That is a beautiful thing about relationships is that we get to lean on the strengths of others in the areas where we are weak.
You must stop comparing yourself to others. God created each of us as unique individuals. Everything God put in you is for a reason and should never be compared to what He put in somebody else. There is greatness in your uniqueness. Instead of comparing yourself to others start embracing everything about yourself.
You also need to change your inner dialogue. Stop the negative self-talk and only allow yourself to speak to yourself positively. Use affirmations as a way to retrain your thinking from negative to positive. When those negative thoughts come take them captive and replace them with the truth of who you are and of who God created you to be.
Read this article to learn how to use affirmations for self love.
Boundaries are necessary when you are surrounded by a toxic person or toxic people. You teach people how to treat you by what you do and do not allow. Protect your space so you can protect your peace.
If you have someone in your life who talks negatively about you or themselves you may need to reconsider that relationship or limit the time that you spend with that person. There are some people you may need to cut off together because of the level of toxicity they bring. I know this can be hard, especially with loved ones, but sometimes cutting people out for a season is what can set us free.
Have a support system in place that consists of very few healthy people in your life. These are the people who will help guide you, support you, and give you the wisdom that you need to move forward.
These are the people that you can open up to and be vulnerable with. Only choose people who seek to help build you up and not tear you down. One person that would be very beneficial is a therapist.
Start trusting yourself and know that you are capable of making healthy decisions. Often we ignore our gut instinct because we have lost trust in ourselves. Too many times I ignored my instinct when I should have listened to it and I ended up down the wrong path or allowed the wrong people into my life.
Make a list of your achievements. Take time to write down everything that you have achieved no matter how big or small you think it is. Sometimes just seeing it on paper reminds us how amazing we are. I have personally done this a few times and it helped me to see all of the things that I have achieved.
One time I wrote a cover letter and sent my résumé to a job for a position that wasn’t even created. I wrote out why they needed to create the position and why I was the perfect person for that job. I never heard from them but it allowed me to promote myself. That is something I had never done before.
Valuing yourself means valuing your mind, your gifts, and your strengths, and understanding what your weaknesses are. It also means valuing your time, and your space, and implementing appropriate boundaries with others. You also need to value your rest and make sure you are spending intentional time with God.
Remember: You are WORTH it! You are valuable and there is something in you that the world needs.
I think so many people feel like valuing yourself is selfish. Having self-value is so different than that. Thank you for sharing
I completely agree that some people think you’re being selfish. But it is so important to value ourselves.
Very well written! And also true. Finding our identity in God allows us to see our own value.
Thank you! It truly does!
Such a wonderful and thoughtful post. I appreciate the reminder that God created us to be who we are. Some days are harder than others to remember this powerful message.
Thank you! It took me a long time to understand that about God, but it has changed my life in such a positive way since learning and understanding it.
As an introvert who has a hard time making friends, it can be painful to cut ties with a negative person. I’ve done it and it is indeed so helpful to your inner peace!
I agree! I am an intovert as well as a people pleaser. It was definitely hard to do at times, but so worth it.